Its been a while since my last visit...
Blogging is just a way of me expressing what i can't at my social media as there's no like or share button here..
So, I felt there's freedom upon writing my personal life here. Something that was in my mind but I can't say freely.
*too much chattering*
So, Alhamdulillah Allah still gave me another year to be appreciated, to submit to Him and to repent over my sins before He take me out of my life. Alhamdulillah.
I celebrated my birthday at Emergency Department which is my current posting. I would not say celebrating, its just welcoming. This is because I had my shift until 11 pm but I dragged my shift to 2am.. *fuhh* time flies so fast.. Pity my housemates who waited for me to be back at 11 until 12.30 and they jz fall asleep later. I never expect anyone to celebrate my birthday. Its jz another day to everyone. Nothing really amazing happen when I was born, anyway. The next morning, I had a subsequent shift at 8.30 am.. *its so tiring.. really!* yet, again time flies so fast.. ED is a fast moving department. full of drama and events. Then, they managed to surprise me with a birthday cake and present!! i really-really not expecting it. I was too busy with my shift and my incomplete forensics report (procrastinator..duhh..) that I forget about my personal life. I felt like I helped someone when I was there and I felt beneficial. I always had this negative thought inside me that I am useless, worthless and not deserve to live anymore. Felt alone in this world. Trying to be strong when everyone around but shattered to be dust when I was all alone. Thus, I will always paste a smile to everyone so that they will not detect the tears, the sadness and the sorrows. I am in charged of my mind, my action and my behaviour. Thus, I will fight my own feelings and implant a new seeds of good expectations, prayers and keep on reciting my aim for today.
Actually, I realised that our subconscious mind will filter the information to the brain. They will assume most of the thing that we focused on as important. Thus, if u see all bad things, u will create a bad subconscious mind and vice versa.
So, in conclusion, age is just a rental for us to make use of it. Benefits it well and hopefully, we create a magnificent subconscious mind.
