today (the day i wrote this) is 27th January 2015..I am turning 22..
I dont really excited bout it, as time goes by.. age is just numbers.. and I already realized that I am 22 since last December (though not yet leaving 21).. so, yeah.. I am 22 now..no big deal..
What's in my mind for this few days are what I've done within 22 years living on the Earth?
Some would say; "Baru 22, lek lah.. muda lagi". But, the other would say: "Aku dah 22.. apa yg telah aq lakukan dgn usiaku?"
Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda dalam hadits Abdullah bin Mas’ud R.A, “Tidak akan beranjak kaki anak Adam pada Hari Kiamat dari sisi Rabbnya sampai dia ditanya tentang 5 (perkara) : Tentang umurnya dimana dia habiskan, tentang masa mudanya dimana dia usangkan, tentang hartanya dari mana dia mendapatkannya dan kemana dia keluarkan dan tentang apa yang telah dia amalkan dari ilmunya”. (HR. At-Tirmizi).
So, yeah.. what i have done with my age? perkara bermanfaat or sia-sia? Hurmm...
Untuk menjawab persoalan itu, ada seperkara lagi di kepala ku.."What did I do best?" or in better words, "What is my potential?". Do what u love and love what u do. aq masih mencari apa yg menjadi minat aq. at the age of 22 and i am still lost with my own life. hurmm. Being in clinical years have made me thinking of my path over n over again. my clinical life was miserable.. hate it so much!! I lost control of myself and losing myself in this hectic life of clinical. Hate when I have to face all the doctors n even the seniors.. Dunno why but I always think that I shouldnt be here.. This is a mistake..I lost my interest entirely..
So, here I am.. stop at the very middle of medical school and thinking of the coming pathway.. watching back my steps from the very beginning makes me feel that its a waste to stop here. But, to continue walking in this path just makes me suffocating. *Breathe in deeply*
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